Abusive Expectations - Makes impossible demands, requires constant attention, and constantly criticizes.
Aggressing - Name calling, accusing, blames, threatens or gives orders, and often disguised as a judgmental “I know best” or “helping” attitude.
Constant Chaos - Deliberately starts arguments with you or others. May treat you well in front of others, but changes when you’re alone.
Rejecting - Refusing to acknowledge a person’s value, worth or presence. Communicating that he or she is useless or inferior or devaluing his or her thoughts and feelings.
Denying - Denies personal needs (especially when need is greatest) with the intent of causing hurt or as punishment. Uses silent treatment as punishment. Denies certain events happened or things that were said. Denies your perceptions, memory and sanity by disallowing any viewpoints other than their own which causes self-doubt, confusion, and loss of self-esteem.
Degrading - Any behavior that diminishes the identity, worth or dignity of the person such as: name-calling, mocking, teasing, insulting, ridiculing,
Emotional Blackmail - Uses guilt, compassion, or fear to get what he or she wants.
Terrorizing - Inducing intense fear or terror in a person, by threats or coercion.
Invalidation - Attempts to distort your perception of the world by refusing to acknowledge your personal reality. Says that your emotions and perceptions aren’t real and shouldn’t be trusted.
Isolating - Reducing or restricting freedom and normal contact with others.
Corrupting - Convincing a person to accept and engage in illegal activities.
Exploiting - Using a person for advantage or profit.
Minimizing - A less extreme form of denial that trivializes something you’ve expressed as unimportant or inconsequential.
Unpredictable Responses - Gets angry and upset in a situation that would normally not warrant a response. You walk around on eggshells to avoid any unnecessary drama over innocent comments you make. Drastic mood swings and outbursts.
Gaslighting -A form of psychological abuse involving the manipulation of situations or events that cause a person to be confused or to doubt his perceptions and memories. Gaslighting causes victims to constantly second-guess themselves and wonder if they’re losing their minds.
important read for everyone
Anyone who reblogs this and adds commentary like “aw man this is me” “wow i suck” “this is why i’m alone” etc. etc. etc., you are doing EXACTLY WHAT THIS LIST OUTLINES AND IT IS AN ABUSE TACTIC AND YOU NEED TO STOP.
I realise that’s harsh, and I certainly don’t have all the answers, but I am very familiar with that kind of reaction. Wallowing in the truth does nothing— get away from the people you could (or do) hurt unless you are willing to consciously, genuinely pinpoint what you are doing wrong and what you are going to do about it, and be open/receptive to criticism. Just accepting that it’s unchangeable is weak and shitty AND using it to guilt others into sympathy is viciously manipulative.
I mean— thank you, to anyone who has used this post as an excuse to mopily admit to their bad behaviour, because it lets me know that you are not using this post as a learning tool but rather to perpetuate the same unacceptable patterns. Please just— if you understand it is an issue, if you are honestly cognisant of it, work to change it.
Having grown up in a household that creates/nurtures this, and befriended people for whom this is normal, I too have dealt it to others. That’s awful. It sucks, it really sucks to realise that you have made some harmful mistakes. I can’t take it back, but I can work hard to ensure it never ever happens again, and have the knowledge that it’s not how things have to be and I’m not tied down to anything that happened in the past. It’s NOT set in stone. You don’t have to be a willing participant in your own reprehensible behaviour— have the decency to consider how you might be diminishing the well-being of others, be honest about it and give yourself space from who you’ve hurt. Don’t settle for being an abuser.
I myself am doing really well after, with some difficulty, shaking off basically everything I knew about interpersonal relationships, re-evaluating my own self-worth, meeting new people, getting help from a really supportive professional or two. Any embarrassment or distress on your part has to be the least of your concerns. I have people who support me and who I in turn support, and being able to exist with no shred of ill-will or sneaky scary underhanded bullshit is so relieving and wonderful. I still have to enter the spaces where that kind of behaviour exists around me, and that can be really scary, but I’m well-armed now, more than ever before. Anyway if you reblog this feel free to delete all this shit hahaha
What are the signs of emotional abuse?
people who confront tumblr users that unfollow them
I MUST GROW STRONGER
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